My Honest Journey of ‘Dreaming Big’ and Goal-Setting
What is God’s will for your life?
What is your calling?
Do these questions stress anyone else out?
Goal setting, meticulous planning, dreaming big.
All. Of. The. Freaking. Above. (I’m kinda done with).
A few months ago (maybe a little more) I found myself stressing.
This is probably not shocking if you know me, but this stood outside of the usual situational and relational stress I usually let mull over and inflate in my head.
No, not circumstantial. Stressing over the imaging and branding/re-branding of myself.
I was over the moon in setting goals, finding purpose, dreaming big dreams for my life, and so much more. Now this, on a surface level, isn’t wrong. It isn’t wrong to want purpose, plan ahead, make goals or to-do lists, and have dreams for your life.
Looking back though, I think all of these pursuits in my life lacked one crucial thing
It wasn’t me.
I wasn’t trying to be fake. I really wanted to share my life authentically and believed I was doing so. But I started to get hungry and that hunger led to obsession. The more I dreamed big, the less I was satisfied. The more goals I set, the less in my life felt attainable.
And I realized this wasn’t me.
So I began ‘soul searching’.
What do I truly believe? I felt like for years, especially in my Christian walk, I would take every word and principle at face value, then just live it out and believe these truths because it felt good to do so.
And I’ve come to realize how much we can really just take the words of others as gospel, without searching for ourselves and coming to terms with what we truly believe.
For years I’ve allowed the voices of others to dictate my thoughts, actions, choices.
When I finally realized this, that I had been just following the tide, I took a step back. Even in so many leadership roles and new opportunities - I was just a follower. A peddler of products, whether they were material, ideals, thoughts… I was just following along.
This was a hard place to reach.
What did I believe? Who truly am I?
I was left flooded with thoughts and I just wanted to escape. But it was in this low point that the true freedom to ‘dream big’ really came in. I know I have goals for my life, or to-do’s each day. But it’s in ‘who’ (and not ‘what’) I want to become. My goals aren’t financial, vocational, or educational. And maybe that sounds crazy.
Yep I have debt, and I am not treating it as inexistent by any means. But if I put ‘paying off my debt’ as this crazy focus I obsess over, I think there’s a larger principle being missed out on. One of my goals and values for my life is a working growth process of responsibility and stewardship. So, out of this overarching goal I hope that a natural result will be the one day total pay-off of my debt because responsibility and stewardship is a larger goal than the debt.
Because, debt is not the problem but a symptom of one. If I just focus on the debt I am not getting down to the root issue of what caused my debt in the first place.
Debt is one easy and tangible example I wanted to draw from, and is really the illustrator rather than the subject matter. And, it brings me back to my two beginning questions; what is God’s will for my life? What is my calling?
I am d.o.n.e. stressing over questions like these in my life.
I did not feel fulfilled in dreaming big and setting big goals for myself. I have begun to find my fulfillment in contentment. Now I’m all about growth, but what if I stopped obsessing over the growth and just trust that if I live my life faithfully everyday, this growth will be a natural occurrence.
We all reach checkpoints in our lives where we realize we need to make changes, and setting out action plans of change we want to see in our lives is a good thing. We all have ways in which we want to stay on track, but I am done with basing my life and ideals around what other people say without truly taking the time to evaluate their words.
I am Lynelle
• I love Harry Potter
• Do not think the LGBTQ+ community is evil or has an agenda
• I get really discouraged by the attitude the church displays toward people who are different than them
• I think diet culture is hurtful, and took a step back and realized I may be contributing to this mindset
• I am a work in progress
• I have been broken and bogged down many times in my life from relationships and expectations I’ve felt – especially from the church
But this is me. I am tired of the images, I am tired of dreaming big, I am tired of coveting what others have.
I am Lynelle
• I have no clue what my vocational calling is
• I went to school to be a pastor but now I’m in music school and sometimes my changing of fields overwhelms me
• I have huge insecurities and don’t feel qualified in the slightest to be becoming a mom so soon
• I get bothered easily and obsess over the rude things people say, just wishing I could change everyone
I am so content here.
Because while I am not in some substantially broken place, I am coming face to face with my own brokenness. But at the end of the day I just want to go to school, do homework, come home, spend time with my family, serve my church/God, and live a regular ‘boring’ life.
My vocational calling/God’s will for my life will work itself out. I’m here to breathe, love God and others, be me, enjoy a Big Mac, and stop stressing. The big things take time, and I don’t need a list to work this out.
What is your calling?
Do these questions stress anyone else out?
Goal setting, meticulous planning, dreaming big.
All. Of. The. Freaking. Above. (I’m kinda done with).
A few months ago (maybe a little more) I found myself stressing.
This is probably not shocking if you know me, but this stood outside of the usual situational and relational stress I usually let mull over and inflate in my head.
No, not circumstantial. Stressing over the imaging and branding/re-branding of myself.
I was over the moon in setting goals, finding purpose, dreaming big dreams for my life, and so much more. Now this, on a surface level, isn’t wrong. It isn’t wrong to want purpose, plan ahead, make goals or to-do lists, and have dreams for your life.
Looking back though, I think all of these pursuits in my life lacked one crucial thing
It wasn’t me.
I wasn’t trying to be fake. I really wanted to share my life authentically and believed I was doing so. But I started to get hungry and that hunger led to obsession. The more I dreamed big, the less I was satisfied. The more goals I set, the less in my life felt attainable.
And I realized this wasn’t me.
So I began ‘soul searching’.
What do I truly believe? I felt like for years, especially in my Christian walk, I would take every word and principle at face value, then just live it out and believe these truths because it felt good to do so.
And I’ve come to realize how much we can really just take the words of others as gospel, without searching for ourselves and coming to terms with what we truly believe.
For years I’ve allowed the voices of others to dictate my thoughts, actions, choices.
When I finally realized this, that I had been just following the tide, I took a step back. Even in so many leadership roles and new opportunities - I was just a follower. A peddler of products, whether they were material, ideals, thoughts… I was just following along.
This was a hard place to reach.
What did I believe? Who truly am I?
I was left flooded with thoughts and I just wanted to escape. But it was in this low point that the true freedom to ‘dream big’ really came in. I know I have goals for my life, or to-do’s each day. But it’s in ‘who’ (and not ‘what’) I want to become. My goals aren’t financial, vocational, or educational. And maybe that sounds crazy.
Yep I have debt, and I am not treating it as inexistent by any means. But if I put ‘paying off my debt’ as this crazy focus I obsess over, I think there’s a larger principle being missed out on. One of my goals and values for my life is a working growth process of responsibility and stewardship. So, out of this overarching goal I hope that a natural result will be the one day total pay-off of my debt because responsibility and stewardship is a larger goal than the debt.
Because, debt is not the problem but a symptom of one. If I just focus on the debt I am not getting down to the root issue of what caused my debt in the first place.
Debt is one easy and tangible example I wanted to draw from, and is really the illustrator rather than the subject matter. And, it brings me back to my two beginning questions; what is God’s will for my life? What is my calling?
I am d.o.n.e. stressing over questions like these in my life.
I did not feel fulfilled in dreaming big and setting big goals for myself. I have begun to find my fulfillment in contentment. Now I’m all about growth, but what if I stopped obsessing over the growth and just trust that if I live my life faithfully everyday, this growth will be a natural occurrence.
We all reach checkpoints in our lives where we realize we need to make changes, and setting out action plans of change we want to see in our lives is a good thing. We all have ways in which we want to stay on track, but I am done with basing my life and ideals around what other people say without truly taking the time to evaluate their words.
I am Lynelle
• I love Harry Potter
• Do not think the LGBTQ+ community is evil or has an agenda
• I get really discouraged by the attitude the church displays toward people who are different than them
• I think diet culture is hurtful, and took a step back and realized I may be contributing to this mindset
• I am a work in progress
• I have been broken and bogged down many times in my life from relationships and expectations I’ve felt – especially from the church
But this is me. I am tired of the images, I am tired of dreaming big, I am tired of coveting what others have.
I am Lynelle
• I have no clue what my vocational calling is
• I went to school to be a pastor but now I’m in music school and sometimes my changing of fields overwhelms me
• I have huge insecurities and don’t feel qualified in the slightest to be becoming a mom so soon
• I get bothered easily and obsess over the rude things people say, just wishing I could change everyone
I am so content here.
Because while I am not in some substantially broken place, I am coming face to face with my own brokenness. But at the end of the day I just want to go to school, do homework, come home, spend time with my family, serve my church/God, and live a regular ‘boring’ life.
My vocational calling/God’s will for my life will work itself out. I’m here to breathe, love God and others, be me, enjoy a Big Mac, and stop stressing. The big things take time, and I don’t need a list to work this out.
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